[edit]November has arrived!! A few weeks ago when I was blog-hopping, I came across Sophie’s blog. She had this Blog-Everyday-November thing, and I’m going to try and do that. That probably means I won’t get as many comments because I can’t return comments as fast as I can write blogs. But here’s my November 1 blog (: Link to the Blog-Everyday-November-Blog.[/edit]
Yeah, again. I haven’t finished returning comments but I figured. New blog. Because I have no life and I’d rather blog then get sleep. No, it’s because I took a nap earlier and I’m like.. eh, not yet. It’s almost midnight but here’s a mini blog anyways.
It happened again. Another fight with Kuya. Yes, I’m bringing him up. I wish I could think of something else to blog about but at the moment, that’s it.. besides Halloween and there’s nothing much to say to that.
I’ve been so bipolar. See my tweets lately? I swear, today I tweeted 100 times about the whole Kuya thing. See, last night, I was talking to him but he was being depressingly boring. So sometime late, I told him, “Sing me a song.” AKA CALL ME, I hate texting. But he said no. And I said pleaseee. And he said no, that’s bad. And I knew it was bad and yet I wanted to talk to him over the phone and hear him sing or talk or whatever. I love hearing his voice before I go to sleep. xD Shush, I love talking to people before I sleep. Period.
But see, he rejected me. Again. So I told him, “Fine, I won’t ever talk to you again. Good-bye forever.” And I felt like I meant it. It hurt me to send that though, imagining not talking to him forever. But I didn’t want to talk to him anymore after that. I wanted him to go away.
So I stopped replying to him and cried myself to sleep. Really, when we fight that’s what happens to me. The guilt eats at me because I know that it’s stupid. But I refuse to admit it. I refuse to admit a lot of things, I’m a coward I say.
So this morning, I ignored him for a bit. But then realized my stupidity and decided we should talk. And I kept telling him how bipolar I was and blah blah blah. Yes, I AM biplar. One second I’m like Yay Kuya! The next I’m like, I hate you. Really, that’s just mean of me. And I admit it NOW.
So our apologeticness was followed by a long discussion of …. us. The entirety of us. I told him how his stalker made me jealous. HAHAHAHA, that just sounds weird. And how I hate that she seems to get more hugs than me. I didn’t mention the fact I was bummed I didn’t get any hugs on Friday. Yes, hugs make my day. But I got some from my friend, Joe. (:
Then I mentioned how stupid my feelings were and how I wanted to get rid of them and blah blah. And he gave me the long speel of how he wasn’t sure. I know, I get it. I don’t like waiting… I think he knows that. But I don’t want to pressure him into an answer. I’d rather have MY feelings just go away so we can be best friends without the complications. But no… no. They refuse to leave my mind. I know I have feelings for him. I admit it. Yes, everyone who was like ADMIT IT. I do.. now I do.
Bipolar. Tomorrow, I’ll probably regret typing this blog. I regret a lot of things. I always do. And I regret writing so many blogs on Kuya. Some days I wish I could just NOT think about him for a day? Mentally impossible though.
Anyways, here are some questions.. because lately my blogs have been about Kuya. I repeated myself. But anyways questions. PLEASE don’t just answer the questions. That makes me sad.
1. Happy halloween! How was yours? Didja dress up?
2. Do you speak a language other than English? If so, how do you say “I love you” in the language?
3. Do you have a Twitter? Are YOU FOLLOWING ME? (Haha, sounds so stalkerish)
Oh a lot of people know I know people outside the country. I can think of four off the top of my head… Jimmy, Lucy, Allen, and Zach. They might be all, I’m not sure. I’ve mentioned Georgina to them in passing, pretty much.
And of course they all know about my site.
Omg I want Taco Bell again now toooo. D: I haven’t eaten breakfast yet, but I’m too lazy to go eat. xD I’ll probably eat after I finish returning the morning’s comments.
HAHAHA, yes, Jimmy is Asian. He is 100% Chinese.
Lol, hello.
Ugh I don’t even know why I hate French. I kind of hate how the language sounds, and I’ve had bad experiences with a couple different French people, which probably doesn’t help.
I really don’t know exactly why I don’t like the language though. 
Oh cool, what will you be singing at the Open House? Is it with the choir?
Ah okay I will definitely ask you about 9/27 then. I’ll ask the next time you’re online and I’m available, if I remember. ^.^
Oh so Kuya still has a couple more chances at going on a retreat before the end of this school year? And good luck getting on K25 yourself.
Good luck with blogging every day of November! I wouldn’t like to do that because I’d rather leave my blog up for a couple days and have more people read it.
Haha, I know how that is.
I often take naps in the afternoon, so then I get tired later at night. It’s kind of nice, until I wake up tired again in the morning. -_-
Aww you shouldn’t worry so much about brining Kuya up in your blogs! If a lot that goes on in your life revolves around him, then why not?
Once again, you told me about this stuff already, so I’m at a loss about typing a comment about it. =/ Forgive me??? D:
1. Happy halloween! How was yours? Didja dress up?
I think you know that.
2. Do you speak a language other than English? If so, how do you say “I love you” in the language?
I can say “I love you” in a bunch of different languages though!
Nope, unless you count my mediocre French skills as conversational French.
Spanish: Te amo.
French: Je t’aime.
Hebrew: Ani ohevet atah (as far as I know anyway (the form of “you” might be different); I can write that in Hebrew).
Chinese: Wo ai ni. (can’t write it though =/)
German: Ich liebe dich.
3. Do you have a Twitter? Are YOU FOLLOWING ME? (Haha, sounds so stalkerish)
Yes I do, and yes I am. ^.^ And I think you’re following me!
before i forget your questions:
1. Happy halloween! How was yours? Didja dress up? nope. ended up watching the x-factor. my friend came trick-a-treating on my door and my dad started shouting at her. XDDDDDDD it was toooooo funny. she looked really embarrased in school today. O_o. i said sorry on my dad behalf.
2. Do you speak a language other than English? If so, how do you say “I love you” in the language? spanish, bengali, farsi. te amo, amar prem, ma tora dost darom (<– siyah taught me that one).
3. Do you have a Twitter? Are YOU FOLLOWING ME? (Haha, sounds so stalkerish). i am following you already mi amigo.
____________
girl, dont worry.
kuya, hmmm. i dot really know what to say.
i thought I had something, but you and kuya are beyond that. i cant seem to figure out what it is,maybe -to put it bluntly- he just doesnt feel the same? mayeb he does, but he doesnt know yet. (it’s possible).
its okay to blog about kuya, he is something really big in your life and i like reading about kuya, and if it helps you get it off your chest… then so be it.
i dont think kuya knws how deeply you fell about him, but then at the same time you probably aren’t going to tell him the depth of your feelings becasue it would make things really awkward.
dont worry about it. he’s pubescent (i say that like i know better! XD) he’ll come round.
you guysare like best friends (am i right) and he probably sees you like that.
me and my cousin are best friends, sometimes we forget were related (not that way) and i tell him everything, which i dont even do with my eal brothers, but when i imagine us as something more, i think, NO! that’s way way way too weird! i think it might be like that.
how long have you known kuya??
-_______
AM I THE ONLY TEENAGER WHO FINDS POLITICS FUN, AS CORRUPT AS IT MAY BE, I FIFND IT SO FUNNY!!!! XD.
_______
you said “friends” way too much in your comment that it only forced me NOT to belive you, and i was right. YOU LOVE HIM, i hate, no i love, to say i told you so.
im kidding, im sorry.
why does his dad hate you????
reading your blogs are like an epic drama., like the notebook or something man. LOVE IT.
take care sweety,
p.s. and dont cry, :’( because then i’ll cry to, and then people would be like why are you crying and i’ll be like “oh some girl over the internet is blogging about her unrequited love with her best friend…” and then they’ll think i am weirder than i already am.
xd.
hahhha. i scare myself.
14th august!!! that two days before mine. what year?
xxx
oh my,my post-script sounded so rude,i didnt mean it like that sorry.
:/
i really should think before i write.
O_o.
i mean to say that even though i find it sad, people would think it weird that i am sympathizing with a person i have never met.
i dont see it like that.
i LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE you.
i feel like an idiot now.
sorry again.
xxxxxxxx <– to make it better.
lol, you’re right! “The Silver Sharpie Run” — a cartoon short. XD
Yeah, I can’t stand the idea of possibly helping put someone in jail. That’s why I won’t register to vote, because then you have to do jury duty.
I fall asleep better when Gordon’s voice is coming from the phone, or even if he’s just on the phone. I don’t sleep very well overall. :/
When I get annoyed with Gordon, I can get really mean, too… and then I feel so guilty that I cry… and then we talk and I feel better. XP
1. Happy halloween! How was yours? Didja dress up?
I did dress up, and Gordon and I walked around the neighborhood with Holly and Yemaya.
2. Do you speak a language other than English? If so, how do you say “I love you” in the language?
I know how to say it in Spanish: “Te amo.” I’m not native, though.
3. Do you have a Twitter? Are YOU FOLLOWING ME? (Haha, sounds so stalkerish)
Nope. I hate Twitter.
He’s a major pyro.
pfft; you will get a boyfriend. (:
im not sure if my friend will.. he probably wouldnt.
i can’t control my feelings like that. i wish i could.
idk.
i just don’t like banana’s. They’re mooooshy.
aahahah i kinda gave up on that, yes. (: